I am nirtog. In this reflection, I give blog readers a sense of my spiritual point of view. Even regarding ourselves, we must admit to a limited ability to assess comprehensively what we think and why, but we probably have the best chance of anybody. I claim to have aesthetic sensibility within a science and engineering disposition. So I will start by condensing my spirituality to the title: “i dig Jesus” and credit inspiration for the short, sweet sentence to Langston Hughes and his poem, “Motto.”
I don’t know if God exists, but I hope an external Creator made the universe and set it spinning. I like speculating about what this Creator might be like but don’t claim to know. I could handle it if the Pantheists are closer to correct. I am willing to accept the New Testament gospels as accurately portraying Jesus, what he said and did. I don’t have trouble accepting that he did miracles. In fact, I want it to be true that he did miracles because supernatural acts would show he had a connection to whatever is behind all this.
But Jesus was better than any of us. He didn’t need ego trips. He didn’t need approval. He wasn’t afraid of anything. He had calmly restrained power. He knew how to hit the nail on the head. He never lost sight of what was important. He was forgiving and loving. Even if he was not divine, I will say, “Close enough!”
Ordinary humans who have claimed to be his followers have, over the centuries, utterly failed even to approach emulating Jesus. Their egos have gotten in the way. They need the approval of others. They are afraid of all kinds of things. They have no real power but hold tightly to any earthly power within their grasp. They constantly lose sight of what is important. They accuse and detest. They hide extreme fallibility behind facades.
Some so-called Christians who have claimed to be capable of miracles don’t have the calm demeanor of Jesus. Instead, they tense their muscles and scrunch their eyebrows. They implore and raise their voices. They speak to supposed demons with angry voices so the demons know they are serious. And they call upon the name of Jesus.
But doing miracles requires a supernatural connection like Jesus had. If you can’t do it like Jesus did, you probably can’t do it. Suppose you have been able to not sin in the last week; good for you. But that’s not going to be sufficient. If you’ve been able to not sin for a whole year, good for you. Still not sufficient. I don’t think any of us are capable of the kind of faith Jesus had. But not having witnessed any miracles and not believing that people (even Catholic saints) are capable of them does not mean they are not possible. The Creator can mess with his creation any time he wants.
As far as I can tell, the Creator doesn’t mess with his creation. Maybe he does, but I happen to have missed it. That’s ok.
So, his followers don’t impress me. I have heard sermons with valuable nuggets and appreciate anyone on the same journey as me: trying to live well and figure out what’s happening. But I prefer not to go to church. Too much singing of barely tolerable songs. Too much ritual made central when it should be peripheral. Also, I’m introverted, so gimme a break. I don’t condemn church. It’s just not for me.
I think one is better off walking the hard road of a spiritual journey by exploring many paths but not letting any established church tell you what is and isn’t allowed. Or what is and isn’t true. We, who walk this road, can decide for ourselves, even if we hold our judgments lightly.
So that’s it. If you catch me acting in a way that seems to disobey the teaching of Jesus, then call me on it.